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Managing Sibling Jealousy

Having a new baby is indeed a thing of joy. However, you may realize that your toddler isn’t exactly excited about having a new brother or sister. Most toddlers get jealous of the divided attention of their mothers once their younger ones arrive. Indeed, some children find it difficult to adjust to the new addition to the family. This can be completely normal, but there are a few things you can do to avoid this sort of sibling jealousy;

 

  1.     Let your toddler be involved in caring for the newborn

For example, give him two outfits to choose what he thinks is most suitable for his little brother or sister. You could also ask your toddler to do mini tasks like passing a diaper or cotton bud to you when you are dressing up the baby.

 

  1.     Let them feel acknowledged

You need to be deliberate about acknowledging their points of view. For example, you could agree with your toddler that babies are needy and clingy or you could agree with him that you two need to hang out at the playground more often.

 

  1.     Be intentional about putting your toddler first sometimes

It can be overwhelming dealing with a newborn, but to keep your toddler’s emotions in check, you need to make deliberate efforts to put him first sometimes. For example, you could tell the baby to wait a minute to be fed while you first get your toddler snacks. You could also place the baby in a swing and play a game with your toddler.

 

  1.     Encourage your toddler to talk about their anger or jealousy

Another way to minimize the effects of sibling rivalry after a new baby arrives is by constantly encouraging your toddler to open up about their emotions and state of mind. Studies have found that most newborn babies have been victims of aggression from their older siblings. However, a positive approach to parenting that encourages toddlers to express themselves goes a long way to curb such aggressive practices.

 

  1.     Let your toddler know just how much the newborn loves him

For example, point out to your toddler whenever his younger sibling is smiling or staring at him. Let him know the baby is doing all those from a place of love and admiration. The trick is to boost the confidence level of your toddler so that he will in turn respond better to the new addition to the family.

 

  1.     Avoid comparing your toddler with the newborn

Resist the urge to ask your toddler why he can’t be as calm as the newborn. Such questions always brew resentment and more jealousy. Even if you are stressed and too tired, avoid making such statements.

 

  1.     Maintain your toddler’s routines

Maintaining those routines that your toddler enjoys is also a great way to help them stay confident that they remain special to you. For example, if you have a routine of reading bedtime stories to your toddler, do not stop doing so once you give birth. Other routines you shouldn’t stop include going to the playground and visiting friends.

Types of Parenting Styles and their Effects on Kids

You become a parent the moment you give birth or adopt a child. And oftentimes a parent tends to gravitate towards a parenting style which he or she thinks suits well with their needs and philosophy. Ultimately, a parent would want their children to grow and develop well. Your parenting style will definitely affect what or who your child becomes in the future. Besides, you are your children’s role model, and how you treat and discipline them will greatly influence their lives.

According to research, there are four main parenting styles which include authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved styles of parenting.

  1.     Authoritarian parenting style

These are parents who believe that their kids should do all they say without any exceptions. Such parents are never interested in negotiating or considering their kid’s points of view when it comes to solving issues. An authoritarian parent simply makes the rules and forces the kids to obey, irrespective of the consequences it could have on them. They will prefer to punish their child instead of disciplining him. They will also make decisions for their children instead of teaching them how to make better choices in life. Children of authoritarian parents turn to be aggressive, and hostile with low self-esteem issues because their opinions never count.

  1.     Authoritative parenting style

Authoritative parents are those who set rules for their children while simultaneously taking their opinions. They often let their children know that their feelings matter but they never forget to make them understand that the adults are in charge. An authoritative parent will typically invest a lot of time, and energy in strategies that prevent behavioral problems in their kids. According to research, children from authoritative parents are most likely to become self-confident, successful, happy, and responsible adults in the future.

  1.     Permissive parenting style

These are parents who are generally lenient with their kids but never fail to step up if there is a serious problem. A typical permissive parent forgives and adopts his attitude to his kids and may use consequences but not stick with them. Such parents are more like friends who encourage their kids to always be open to them. Some pros of the permissive parenting style yield children who are self-assured, explorative, and creative. There are pieces of evidence though that that link the permissive parenting style to problems in children like having poor academic performance and behavioral problems since they have been trained not to appreciate authority and rules.

  1.     Uninvolved parenting style

This style of parenting is when parents don’t respond to their child’s needs or desires beyond their basics needs (food, clothing, shelter). These are parents who do not guide, nurture and pay attention to their kids. They set little or no rules and do not even know nor understand their children’s personalities. Children of uninvolved parents raise themselves as their parents never involve their time and energy in providing for what’s beyond their basic needs. Most uninvolved parents do not neglect their children deliberately. Some parents are overly tired and get overwhelmed with the daily stresses of life and are thus often preoccupied with their own personal affairs. While the uninvolved parenting style is not always intentional, it involves an ongoing pattern of emotional distance between parent and child. It also usually involves a lack of discipline style towards their children. Due of the aforementioned set-up, kids of this parenting style often become self-reliant, lack emotional connection to their parent, have low self-esteem issues, and would often become emotionally needy in other relationships. They would also lack coping skills, and would most likely use the same parenting style to their own children.

Remember, one parenting style does not reign supreme over the others. You may learn a thing or two from each and borrow a specific tactic to use in different situations that you will come across your parenting journey.

Symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome

Asperger’s syndrome is a subset of neurodevelopmental disorder that leads to communication and social interaction difficulties. It also causes restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests. Studies show that around 0.02% to 0.03% of the children are affected by Asperger syndrome. It is more prevalent among boys than girls, with the ratio of 8: 1.

It is also one of the disorders on the autism spectrum. Sufferers from Asperger’s may have normal intelligence but they only find communication and socialization difficult. For obvious reasons, it can also be referred to as social pragmatic communication disorder.

Symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome.

There are numerous symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome that you should look out for in your child if you think they have communication or social difficulties.

Most of these symptoms exhibit very early in their childhood life and gradually develop over time, so they’re not hard to spot. Below are some of the most obvious symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome in children.

  1. Extreme High Level Cognitive and Creative Intelligence

Children diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, tend to have higher intelligence, and creative and cognitive skills than most other kids of the same age group.

You can easily tell because they excel quite effortlessly in fields like fine arts. They also display natural talent and intelligence in brainy tasks like puzzles and mathematics.

  1. Difficulty in Socializing

Not everyone with a high level of cognitive intelligence suffers from Asperger’s syndrome. The most obvious sign of Asperger’s syndrome is difficulties in socializing with others.

They tend to have lesser friends than normal and can find it very tasking to start a one on one conversation with a stranger.

While poor social skills are a strong symptom of Asperger’s syndrome, it doesn’t always mean someone is suffering from Asperger’s syndrome.

  1. Non-Verbal Behaviors

People who suffer from Asperger’s syndrome, show obvious weaknesses in the area of nonverbal communication like hand gestures, facial expressions, and making proper eye contact.

This makes conversations with them unclear, which is a plus for them as they quickly lose interest in interactions with others anyway.

  1. Emotions

People suffering from Asperger’s syndrome, generally find it difficult to communicate using their emotions. For example, they may be unable to alternate between happy and sad emotions appropriately.

Conversations with them can also be completely unemotional and lackluster, which doesn’t worry them much. They’d rather not have any conversation with you anyway.

  1. Fixed Routines

Most people with Asperger’s syndrome have a fixed routine of performing daily activities, like a set timetable for day-to-day living.

For example, they may brush, eat, sleep, and perform other daily activities strictly based on their daily routine and may get angry or sad if there is a disruption.

Do consult with your family paediatrician if you are suspecting your child may have Asperger’s syndrome. Ealy intervention and therapy can help to relieve the symptoms and improve the quality of life.

Reference:

1) Roy M, Dillo W, Emrich HM, Ohlmeier MD. Asperger’s syndrome in adulthood. Dtsch Arztebl Int. 2009;106(5):59-64.

About Reading/Writing Learners

A reading/writing learner is a child who learns most effectively with written materials. Such learners love to write and they tend to comprehend what they have read better. Most reading/writing learners grasp information best by note-taking strategies as well as transcribing ideas and concepts. Reading/writing learners can learn through a combination of techniques that have been proven to be effective.

  1. Notes taking

Reading/writing learners can hardly listen and remember the information later. This is why they need to take notes by paraphrasing what the teacher is saying and what is written down on the slides. The idea is not to write down everything the teacher says word for word, but to take down the key ideas as they are delivered. Reading/writing learners are likely to understand and retain what they have learnt after reviewing their notes at a later time.

  1. Making lists

Most reading/writing learners are list people, who prefer organizing their thoughts by chronologically listing their ideas. They love to make lists about key ideas, keywords, and the main concepts, which helps their brains. This helps their brains easily organize and remember the information. Besides, these lists also act as prompters that help reading/writing learners not forget to go through anything that has been taught to them.

  1. Reading supplementary information

Reading/writing learners can excel better by reading supplementary information. They naturally love to read, so reading supplementary information will help them understand ideas and concepts from different perspectives. Besides, reading/writing learners can always gain in-depth knowledge about particular topics being assigned, but they also reading what other authors are saying about the subject.

  1. Re-reading notes

Taking down notes is not enough for reading/writing learners. They need to re-read their notes to excel in flying colors. The ability to read and comprehend in reading/writing learners is above average, so they should invest time in reading useful materials such as articles, textbooks and other pieces of information related to topics for a clearer picture.

As a parent or teacher, it’s your responsibility to nurture your reading/writing learners in the right learning environment that works for them. You should therefore conduct lessons using worksheets and handouts for better understanding. Paying close attention to developing your child’s reading and writing skills will also go a long way to groom him to learn well. Moreover, teaching reading/writing learners about document management such as weekly feeling and termly organization will equally go a long way to make learning conducive for them.

About Kinesthetic Learners

A kinesthetic learner is a child who learns by doing things by touching or manipulating objects. Kinesthetic learners do not learn by seeing or listening but rather prefer to be engaged in physical tangible learning exercises. There are indications that most kinesthetic learners are sensory people whose minds thrive better from the things they touch, smell, taste or experience with their bodies. This is why hands-on learning projects are the most effective way of teaching kinesthetic children. For example, while visual and auditory learners can easily grasp the concept of volcanic eruptions by watching videos and listening, a kinesthetic learner may instead grasp the concept by constructing the process out of clay and mixing substances to cause an eruption.

There are a few characteristics to distinguish kinesthetic learners from the other types of learners. Kinesthetic learners love doing practical work with tools, instruments and supplies. They are more skilled at solving puzzles and tend to remember the things they have done as opposed to those they have seen and heard. Moreover, kinesthetic learners love to construct things like crafts or DIY projects with their hands. They think more critically and clearly when they move around and engage with objects and their peers rather than just sitting in the same position and listening to explanations.

Kinesthetic learners can conveniently learn at a pace that is comfortable to them, without having to worry about falling behind their auditory and visual peers. This is why teachers need to use multiple different teaching methods to assess the strengths and weaknesses of each student, to make adjustments that give students room for improvement.

The advantages of kinesthetic learners over the other types of learners include the fact that they often grasp the big picture of the task as a result of their hands-on involvement in the project. Besides, kinesthetic learners tend to think out of the normal classroom assignments, thereby seeking real-world applications. Above all, kinesthetic learners can easily fix their mistakes since they often learn organically through trial and error.

Some of the best teaching strategies for kinesthetic learners include using charts and presentations, utilizing games and activities, going on field trips, bringing in subject experts, having class discussions and above all, letting the children teach their classmates during some lessons. Meanwhile, some of the best teaching tools and supplies for kinesthetic learners are matching games, molding clay, puzzles, index cards, puppets, countable objects as well as arts and craft supplies.

Many kinesthetic learners go on to have careers that are related to hands-on field activities such as athletics, carpentry, plumbing, dancing, acting, physical therapy and agriculture, etc.

About Auditory Learners

An auditory learner is a child who learns effectively by listening. An auditory learner will rather listen to lectures and instructions than reading textbooks. Auditory learners tend to process the information better when they have heard instead of reading or seeing.

Auditory learners have some characteristics that make them thrive perfectly in classroom settings. For example, they are eloquent and good at telling stories. Auditory learners have excellent listening skills and they retain spoken information perfectly. They enjoy conversations and are often not afraid to express their opinions. They excel well in oral presentations or oral exams and they can explain ideas well for the understanding of others.

There are many ways to effectively teach auditory learners. For example, you can conveniently teach an auditory learner through repetition. This assertion can be backed by the fact that repeating spoken details can help them understand best since they learn best by listening. Auditory learners can also learn effectively through verbal discourses, discussions and conversations. Moreover, including social elements such as group assignments, paired reading and group projects can help auditory learners to excel. To teach auditory learners effectively, you must first help them identify their learning style, so they can play an active role in learning.

Auditory learners can conveniently learn through powerful educative tools such as;

  • Podcasts: They will learn easily if you give them opportunities to listen to podcasts;
  • Question & Answer Sessions: They will learn better by verbally asking questions and listening to the answers. The whole essence of this is to clear up misunderstandings or concerns.
  • Recorded lectures: Give recorded lectures to students who missed lectures for one reason or another instead of giving them a chunk of notes to read.
  • Background music during quiet times: Auditory learners usually appreciate short background music so that they don’t get distracted by noise or silence.

There are a few tips to help auditory learners to focus in classroom or work settings. For example, asking questions in the classroom is an effective learning tip for auditory learners as it gives them the opportunities to learn by listening carefully to the answers. Having a study buddy is also ideal for auditory learners because having someone to repeat information or read out information will facilitate the process of learning. Above all, participating in discussions is a good idea for auditory learners. Discussions give them the opportunities to listen to others and also share their ideas which could go a long way to clear up their misunderstandings.

5 Ways to Handle Horrible 3

Most parents may already be familiar with Terrible Twos behaviors, but do you know that dealing with a three-year-old child can also be really challenging?  At 3 years, most children are extremely disobedient and destructive, hence the term Horrible 3. If you think the tantrums will stop after two years, then you are mistaken as three years old can really be overbearing.

Well, you need to help your child go through all the developmental stages as growing up is a continuous process. Most of these deviant behaviors actually stem from the fact that these children are increasingly becoming more independent, expressive and aware of their environments. Here are some tips for handling Horrible 3.

  1.  Be engaged with your child

One of the tips of sailing through this phase is to be totally engaged with your child; giving him attention whenever the need arises. Children can really be sensitive and they turn to be frustrated when you seem distracted when they need your attention. The best way to give your child attention is to make a daily routine that includes your child’s mealtime, nap time, playtime and study time. By doing so, you will discipline yourself to give him undivided attention at just the right time.

  1.  Stay calm

Dealing with a child in the Horrible 3 stage is not the easiest thing to do. But you need to always stay calm, so you can correct situations in the best ways possible. You will be making matters worst by yelling at your child. The trick is therefore to stay put and communicate to your child in the most effective way. Remember that at 3 years, children copy a lot, and they will probably learn to be violent if you are verbally abusive to them.

  1.  Time out

Sometimes, you have to figure a way to punish a disobedient child, so that he can do better next time. Time out has been proven to be an effective way to make your child calm down and just chill for some time. However, you shouldn’t do this too often as you run the risk of making it ineffective.

  1.  Be consistent

Children typically learn by repeating tasks. This is why it’s important for you as a parent to set up a positive routine and continually try to follow them even if your three-year-old is trying to resist.  Set clear rules and be consistent in making your child follow them. For example, insist on washing hands after using the toilet and make sure you help your child follow this routine. Trust me, he will get used to it with time and will start doing it effortlessly.

  1.  Talk to your child

Although a three-year-old is still in the learning stage, he is able to use understand and repeat words. That’s why it’s imperative for you to always talk to your child so that he can in turn learn to talk to you rather than communicate with actions. For example, you can tell your child ‘baby, I understand you don’t like this toy, but destroying it isn’t going to help. It’s better to say ‘mummy, I don’t want this toy’.

What Type of Learner Is My Child?

Every child is unique and learns at his or her pace. While some children are fast bloomers who start learning how to talk and do other things early, other children can be late bloomers who take their time to learn. As a parent, it is imperative for you to take out time to understand how your child learns best so you can nurture them according to their full potential.

The first step to helping your child learn is to find out the type of learner he or she is. There are four main learning styles: visual, auditory, reading/writing and kinesthetic. Although many children can easily learn through a combination of two or more of these styles, they have one that works best for them. The trick is  to know your child’s preferred study method so that you can implement the right methods that will make him understand and retain whatever he has learned. Your goal should be to implement effective study methods that are geared towards complementing your child’s strengths instead of working against them.

Knowing the characteristics of each learning styles will enable you to identify the type of learner your child is. Visual learners typically excel in visual activities such as arts. They love books with illustrations and are good at recognizing as well as recalling words, people and places. Visual learners are mostly interested in the world and the objects around them. Moreover, they excel well when given examples of the tasks they are working on.

Auditory learners rather excel in auditory activities such as music. They perform well when following verbal instructions and they love singing and humming while playing or doing school work. An auditory learner enjoys conversing with others and always listens to all instructions before starting a task. In addition, auditory learners always ask many questions when working on tasks or activities.

On the other hand, reading/writing learners enjoy reading books and writing stories. They love to take notes down when working on a task. They love quiet spaces and are good at remembering whatever they have written.

Meanwhile, a kinesthetic learner excels more at physical and hands-on activities. They find it challenging sitting down while learning but rather enjoy active learning like drawing or study games.

It is your duty as a parent to know where your child falls and use the appropriate techniques that match your study needs.

About Visual Learners

A visual learner is a child who learns effectively by reading or seeing pictures. Such a child learns by sight through primarily visual methods such as charts, maps, images, and graphics.

Visual learners actually prefer getting information about particular things by observing or reading rather than listening because they love seeing what they are learning. This explains why visual learners always ask their parents, guardians and teachers to show them whenever they want to learn something new.

Visual learners enjoy activities such as drawing, making posters and creating things with colors, rather than using words. The uniqueness of visual learners lies in the fact that they can close their eyes and visualize or remember whatever they have forgotten. Visual learners tend to find it challenging when they are taught with spoken words as they could easily be distracted by sounds. To tell the truth, visual learners are more attracted to colors and imaginary stories that paint perfect pictures.

Just like with other types of learners, visual learners can also learn through a combination of other learning styles. Some pro tips for learning as a visual learner include avoiding distractions during study time, using flashcards to learn new words, and drawing pictures that explain new concepts. It would be good to write down instructions, ideas or keywords before performing tasks.

As a parent, you need to implement the right methods to teach your child whom you have identified as a visual learner. Here are some powerful tips for teaching visual learners;

  • Label everything in your home including your furniture, kitchen utensils, shelves, doors, windows and etc. You can write these words on index cards and tape them to the objects. Rest assured that this will help your child to connect certain words with images mentally.
  • Use fun visual games to teach your child certain activities. You can search for interesting educative visual games online.
  • Encourage your visual learner to draw. For example, when reading a story to your child, you can encourage him to draw a picture of the story and summarize it to you. You can be sure that such drawings will help your child remember the main facts of the story you read.
  • Encourage them to make lists such as books, snacks and toy inventories. Most visual learners love making lists, which is a good thing because it makes them practice the art of writing and keeping.

Symptoms of Developmental Delay

Infant developmental stages aren’t the same for all kids. While some may reach developmental milestones earlier, other kids may take more time.

The time it takes for a kid to reach major development milestones depends on genetic factors, pregnancy complications, or even environmental setting.

When a child takes significantly more time to reach developmental milestones than other kids their age, the condition is usually referred to as developmental delay. It’s usually a scary experience for parents who mistake the condition to mean lower intelligence in their kids.

 

What is Developmental Delay?

Developmental delay is a minor or major delay in the development stages of a child. It refers to a condition that causes a child to fall behind their mates in performing developmental actions expected of them. There are many forms of developmental delay. Popular ones include language, cognitive skills, play, and social skills.

Noticing any form of developmental delay in a child can be depressing for parents. It shouldn’t be, however, detecting the condition early can help in managing or even curing a child of developmental delay.

 

Symptoms of Developmental Delays

The symptoms of developmental delay vary and may not be the same for all sufferers of this condition. The condition also shows up at different times; while some can be noticed during the infancy stage, some take a little longer to notice.

Here are some of the most common symptoms of developmental delays.

  1. Communication Difficulty

Communication starts from infancy and gradually develops with the baby. Children should be able to communicate in brief sentences by the time they are three.

If this isn’t the case, and they’re unable to communicate with their parents in face to face, it could be a sign of developmental delay.

  1. Cognitive Delays

This symptom of developmental delay takes a bit more time to notice but is usually more obvious than most other symptoms. It refers to a condition where a child takes much more time to acquire, manipulate, and analyze new information.

While this is usually characterized by poor performances in schoolwork, particularly reasoning-based tasks, poor performance isn’t always of developmental delay. It’s important to see a medical professional confirm the condition before jumping to conclusions.

 

How to Cure Developmental Delays

There is no known cure for the defect now, but there are therapies that can be used to minimize the negative effects, enabling affected kids to live a normal life like their peers.

How Snacking Affects Your Teeth

A lot of people have this habit of munching something, but do you know that snacking can affect your teeth? Well, it is not just children who need help with snacking all day and skipping meals. Even some adults keep on eating junk food and carbonated drinks which can affect their oral and overall health. Here we will be discussing how snacking affects your pearly whites, so keep on reading.

Be Proud to Be A Single Mom

Some parents, for unfortunate reasons, need to separate, but does that mean that a single mom cannot provide their kids with the best of everything? Well, that is not true at all.

If you are a single mom, you should be proud of yourself for raising kids all on your own. If you find people telling you to improve your methods of parenting, you should know that you are doing well, and you do not need anyone to tell you how you can do better.

When you are juggling a job along with raising your kids in the most appropriate manner, you are truly a superhero. And you should make sure that your kids know about it.

Raising kids is never easy. Sometimes you might have a heavy heart, and you will have to leave home just to raise money so that you can feed them and educate them properly. Most nights, when you walk into the house, you will find them already asleep. There will be days when you will miss the parent-teacher meeting, and you might feel guilty about not attending their first performance at school.

But let me tell you one thing. You are strong for what you are doing, and you are even more incredible for doing it alone. Trust me; it will all be worth it in the end. Try to spend some quality time after a hectic week at the office. Avoid office work on the weekend so that you can spend the whole day with your babies. Learn how to balance things.

• Some days, you might have to prioritize work over your children. Whereas the other days, you might have your baby by your side, and you might need to be there for them.

• While you are hustling with all the other things, you might also need to tell your kids how proud you are of them. Celebrate small happiness and achievements. Make them know that you trust them and you are proud of them. Tell them even if you cannot be there with them all the time, but you are always there for them when they are in trouble. Try to be their friends that they can tell you each and every trouble that has been bothering them.

• The best support you will have will be your kids and once you know that your kids understand you, you can be a little more stress-free. Having the sport of your kids will mean the world to you. And that is what really matters.

Being a single mother is never a piece of cake. You might have to sacrifice a lot more than any other parent. But once you understand the essence of motherhood, you will enjoy it more than anybody else.