How Do I Co-parent after a Break-up?
Sometimes, relationships just go wrong making a separation the only way forward. Unfortunately, kids sometimes bear the brunt of separation as starting a new life with parents who live apart could be challenging. But then, as a good parent, you need to figure out a way to co-parent after your breakup. Here are some of the tips for co-parenting after a break-up;
- Take time to heal
Breakups are usually painful, at least to one of the parties. So, if you are the one who got hurt in the relationship, you need to take time to heal to make co-parenting easier for you both. If you are still bitter about what happened, it will be difficult and almost impossible to have reasonable discussions with your ex about the welfare and wellbeing of your child.
- Be involved in your child’s day-to-day life
You need to be intentional about being present in your child’s day-to-day life after a separation. The best way to do so is by communicating effectively and sharing parenting responsibilities with your ex. You guys need to talk about finances, logistics, and your child’s emotional needs. But besides talking, you need to actively participate in your child’s life even if he doesn’t live with you. For example, you could opt for your ex to pick up your child every day from school, even if your child lives with you.
- Set barriers
Many people change after a separation and so to co-parent effectively, you need to set boundaries. Avoid asking personal questions about things that should no longer be your business. For example, resist the urge to ask your ex who he is dating or what his plans are. Rather, stick only to conversations that concern your child’s wellbeing and welfare. When you stick to issues that only concern your child, co-parenting becomes a lot easier.
- Communicate as a team
Communication is as crucial while co-parenting as it is in relationships. It is normal to have disagreements with your ex over your child from time to time but don’t let that be an excuse to cut him off. Rather, find a common ground to communicate with him and explain your angle of the issue so you guys could possibly agree once more.
- Stay accessible
After a break-up, you need to stay accessible to your ex, either by phone or physically. The reason is that issues about your child requiring your approval or disapproval could pop up at any time. So instead of blocking access to your partner, being accessible and flexible will go a long way to help you both co-parent effectively.