You become a parent the moment you give birth or adopt a child. And oftentimes a parent tends to gravitate towards a parenting style which he or she thinks suits well with their needs and philosophy. Ultimately, a parent would want their children to grow and develop well. Your parenting style will definitely affect what or who your child becomes in the future. Besides, you are your children’s role model, and how you treat and discipline them will greatly influence their lives.
According to research, there are four main parenting styles which include authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved styles of parenting.
- Authoritarian parenting style
These are parents who believe that their kids should do all they say without any exceptions. Such parents are never interested in negotiating or considering their kid’s points of view when it comes to solving issues. An authoritarian parent simply makes the rules and forces the kids to obey, irrespective of the consequences it could have on them. They will prefer to punish their child instead of disciplining him. They will also make decisions for their children instead of teaching them how to make better choices in life. Children of authoritarian parents turn to be aggressive, and hostile with low self-esteem issues because their opinions never count.
- Authoritative parenting style
Authoritative parents are those who set rules for their children while simultaneously taking their opinions. They often let their children know that their feelings matter but they never forget to make them understand that the adults are in charge. An authoritative parent will typically invest a lot of time, and energy in strategies that prevent behavioral problems in their kids. According to research, children from authoritative parents are most likely to become self-confident, successful, happy, and responsible adults in the future.
- Permissive parenting style
These are parents who are generally lenient with their kids but never fail to step up if there is a serious problem. A typical permissive parent forgives and adopts his attitude to his kids and may use consequences but not stick with them. Such parents are more like friends who encourage their kids to always be open to them. Some pros of the permissive parenting style yield children who are self-assured, explorative, and creative. There are pieces of evidence though that that link the permissive parenting style to problems in children like having poor academic performance and behavioral problems since they have been trained not to appreciate authority and rules.
- Uninvolved parenting style
This style of parenting is when parents don’t respond to their child’s needs or desires beyond their basics needs (food, clothing, shelter). These are parents who do not guide, nurture and pay attention to their kids. They set little or no rules and do not even know nor understand their children’s personalities. Children of uninvolved parents raise themselves as their parents never involve their time and energy in providing for what’s beyond their basic needs. Most uninvolved parents do not neglect their children deliberately. Some parents are overly tired and get overwhelmed with the daily stresses of life and are thus often preoccupied with their own personal affairs. While the uninvolved parenting style is not always intentional, it involves an ongoing pattern of emotional distance between parent and child. It also usually involves a lack of discipline style towards their children. Due of the aforementioned set-up, kids of this parenting style often become self-reliant, lack emotional connection to their parent, have low self-esteem issues, and would often become emotionally needy in other relationships. They would also lack coping skills, and would most likely use the same parenting style to their own children.
Remember, one parenting style does not reign supreme over the others. You may learn a thing or two from each and borrow a specific tactic to use in different situations that you will come across your parenting journey.